One of my goals for this year was to shoot my first portrait commission for a newspaper or magazine, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I was over the moon when the Financial Times Weekend Magazine asked me to photograph historian Marina Warner for an article discussing her new book, Sanctuary. 

Needless to say, I was nervous about it, very excited, but also nervous. One of the main criticisms I often receive about my work when I show it to people for job interviews or portfolio reviews, for example, is that all my work is of people I know. A big part of my practice is documenting my family. I am interested in documenting the everyday side of being Black British, and I use my family as a means to explore this topic. Due to this, though, I wanted to prove to myself that I can shoot a portrait of someone I do not know and get paid for it at that. 

How different could it possibly be working with someone you don’t know? Well, while photographing Marina, I really did notice the difference. Firstly, it’s a lot harder to bully subjects who are not your family to do what you want, but honestly, the main thing I noticed was more about the subject than myself. Marina was not as comfortable with me as my family and friends would be, which I know is such an obvious thing to point out and is the main point of the criticism I receive, but experiencing it first-hand is very interesting. 

It reminds me of a quote by Annie Leibovitz, “there’s this idea that in portraiture it’s the photographer’s job to set the subject at ease, I don’t believe that.” Now I am no Annie Leibovitz, so I did not take this approach; in fact, I felt like I built a good rapport with Marina. We discussed the new book and the idea of sanctuary as a more open and welcoming space, i.e, asylum seekers, for example. I spoke about how my mum’s kitchen table has become a type of sanctuary for me; in that case, that all are welcome around her kitchen table and it has become a space for discussions, debates, games and laughter. Marina and I had a good chat and I left with a signed copy of one of her previous books! To quote Ice Cube, “It was a good day!”

So this blog post is just for me to say I’VE DONE IT. I was paid to capture portraits of someone, not a family member, for a publication, and I am happy. I want to do more! 

Ryan 1 - Imposter Syndrome 0.