Just like rapper The Game dreaming about being chosen as “Unsigned Hype”, a segment in the popular hip-hop magazine The Source. Where they promote the hottest new unsigned rappers.

I have had similar dreams about being chosen as one of the British Journal of Photography’s (BJP) Ones to Watch. So it was a big surprise when I found out that I had been chosen. I am one of 15 emerging photographers from various countries who have been selected, being promoted as ones to keep an eye on, ones that are making waves in the photography industry. Honestly, it’s an honour to be chosen.

For anyone reading this who is interested in how I was chosen, from what I gather from the process, the BJP asks respected members of the photography industry to nominate people. I was fortunate enough to be nominated by Kalpesh Lathigra; the comments he made about my approach to work are truly touching. The next stage is being interviewed for an article. I had the pleasure of speaking to Isaac Huxtable, which was such a lovely experience. What he wrote about me and my work was humbling. I have been interviewed in the past about specific bodies of work, but this felt different. This was more personal; there was much more of an emphasis on me as a person and the things that make me tick.

So am I happy? Absolutely. However, after the Ones to Watch issue went live and I read the article. I was hit by crippling imposter syndrome. This year has been one of the hardest in regards to my mental health and specifically my finances. At times, not even sure I have enough money to travel to my day job to make the money I need to pay my bills and survive. That and I have been struggling with what my next body of work will be. So I ask myself, how can I be a one to watch when I am struggling mentally, financially, and I am not creating new work? I feel like I am not doing anything, which I know is not true, but I feel like I am not doing the right things, or enough. It’s a weird feeling having people hold you and your work in high regard, reading articles about yourself and how you are “humble, gentle and in the pursuit of greatness,” but not see all these things when you look at yourself. I struggle to see what people see, but I guess that is impostor syndrome. I’ve said this before, and I think I mentioned it in the interview with Isaac, as much as I love it, I find being a creative so difficult because of all of this.

Despite all of that, one of the main takeaways from that interview is that my honesty is an endearing trait and is needed in an industry where all we see are our peers winning. So I write this as a way of reconciling all of these emotions. Something I almost chose not to do as  I feared that it would turn off potential employers, but I think it’s important! So I will continue to be truthful, and as with my photographic work, I hope that people read this and can relate to it in some way, and if you have, then I have achieved what I have set out ot do.

Thank you to the British Journal of Photography.

Thank you to Kalpesh Lathigra.

Thank you to Isaac Huxtable.